Getting Better Sleep: Sleep Aid Recommendations for Women Over 40

When I hit 45, two things went haywire for me: the ability to read fine print and the ability to get a good night’s sleep. The fine print? Easy solve with stashing a few cute pairs of readers in my purse and around my house. The sleep issue? Not quite so easy to solve. I would oftentimes have trouble falling asleep and once I did, I’d wake at 3am, what I used to lovingly refer to as the witching hour when I had to get up to feed my baby in the middle of the night. Well, I’m not feeding any babies and I certainly cannot fall back to sleep in an instant like I did in those god-awful tired nights. I would stare at the ceiling, every worry flooding my mind, every anxiety pulsating through my body. I was even worrying about things that weren’t even real. What if I got into a car accident? What if something terrible happened at my son’s school? What if I’m not saving enough for college and some day he can’t go to the school he wants or he’s saddled with debt? The list of things running through my head was seemingly endless. And there, beside me, snored my husband as content as could be. It was infuriating!!

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I often still have those sleep struggles. I think those of us in perimenopause or menopause (or heck… essentially any day ending day after one has a child) combat sleep issues. And while I have done a lot (which I will share below) to help my situation, nevertheless, we find ourselves struggling with gettin a good night’s sleep. Being a woman is one never ending search for learning how our bodies work. And once we think we have it figured out, bam! it all shifts and changes and we begin a new quest.

Sleeping was NEVER an issue for me. In fact, I probably overslept most of my life. I could fall asleep in a car, on a plane, sitting up in a chair. I was someone that needed a good 10 hours of sleep to feel fully refreshed. I could drift off for a nap at the drop of a hat. Until… I couldn’t. I didn’t understand it at first. I thought maybe I was having trouble falling or staying asleep because things in my life changed. I was no longer going into an office and thought maybe the lack of daily stimulation driving to/from an office, interacting face to face with coworkers, walking to lunch, etc. was making it so that my brain didn’t have enough to tucker it out. I just kept making excuses for my sleep issues without proactively seeking out solutions.

One day a friend of mine mentioned she was having trouble sleeping. She also struggled to fall asleep and dealt with that middle-of-the-night panic. She, too, felt like anxiety was paralyzing her. Okay… so this is not an issue that only I was dealing with! I started asking more and more friends how their sleep was. Similar answer? “It’s complete shit.” I knew I had to do something about.

A few of my favorites for sleep!

I went out and got the book Why We Can’t Sleep by Ada Calhoun. I am not quite Gen X (but in that space of years called “The Oregon Trail Generation”) but I figured the book had to start leading me down the right path. It wasn’t exactly about sleep but more about the load that Gen X (and now I feel elder millenial) women are bearing. The anxiety and despair we are all feeling because of being wives, mothers, friends, caretakers, daughters, cooks, professionals who are all struggling to find balance and calm in life.

Okay… so given this period of time in life is one of the hardest we women have to deal with, I decided I needed to find and do whatever possible to aide my sleep. If I was anxious and overloaded during the day, I certainly didn’t need to be during the night. Down the rabbit holes I went. I went to my doctor to ask about help with balancing my hormones. She helped and it helped! So my word of advice is, if you are a lady of a certain age (over 40) don’t be afraid to start the conversation around hormone replacement therapy. I am not a medical doctor and cannot provide medical advice, clearly. So all of the solutions I’m listing below are what has worked for me. Always talk to a doctor before you start or try anything to make sure it’s the safest thing possible thing for YOU.

My Sleep Solutions

These are the things I have used or currently use in order to help aid a better night’s sleep. There are some things I use religiously every night (I’m looking at you, melatonin and magnesium cream) and some things I do when the mood strikes me or I know I’ve had a high anxiety day and it may hinder me from easily falling asleep. What works for me may not work for you but at least I can share my experiences in the hopes that it will help you find your own better night of sleep.

What Didn’t Work

All of that listed above are things I find work well for me. I also think it’s important to call out what didn’t work for me so you don’t waste your time and money on it. (However, maybe some of these WILL work for you… one never knows…)

• Magnesium Gylcerinate pills: It’s essentially the same stuff I put on in lotion or spray form but I didn’t find the pills made any sort of difference.
• Camomile Tea – I want to like this but it’s just not my thing, even with a ton of honey in it.
• The Good Patch Dream Patches: These are patches you are meant to wear on your wrist at night. They contain melatonin and valerian root. I didn’t think these made any sort of difference. It’s meant to be sustained release throughout the night and I think a melatonin gummy just works harder and faster to get me to sleep than any sort of patches.
• Breathe Right Strips: Someone told me that perhaps I was struggling to breathe during the night and Breathe Right Strips may help. Some nights when I wore them, I got great sleep. Other nights, it didn’t make any sort of difference. I tested them out for about a month and it wasn’t consistent enough results for me to continue to bother to wear them.

Good Books and Podcasts about Sleep

It’s taken me a lot of reading, research and time and effort to figure out what works best for me when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep. I would urge you to do some of the same reading and research to understand the ins and outs of why we women over 40 begin to struggle with sleep. You can often want to tear your hair out after laying away for hours on end and it’s incredible how much listening to a podcast can make you feel less alone in your struggles. Here are a few of my suggestions for great books and podcasts you might find useful:

Book Recommendations

• Sleep Smarter by Shawn Stevenson: Stevenson explores the powerful connection between quality sleep and overall health, arguing that better rest can improve everything from weight management and productivity to long-term wellness. Drawing from his own experience overcoming a serious degenerative bone condition, he shares the sleep and lifestyle changes that helped transform his health and achieve goals he once thought were out of reach. The book offers a practical 14-day plan packed with science-backed strategies for improving sleep, optimizing daily habits, and supporting a healthier, more energized life.
• The Sleep Solution by W. Chris Winter, MD: Neurologist and sleep specialist W. Chris Winter explains the science behind healthy sleep and offers practical strategies for improving rest without relying on medication. Drawing on decades of clinical experience, he helps readers identify the root causes of their sleep challenges and develop personalized solutions that fit their unique lifestyles. The book covers topics ranging from insomnia and sleep apnea to sleep technology, nutrition, and daily habits, providing a comprehensive guide to achieving more restorative sleep and better overall well-being.
• The New Perimenopause by Dr. Mary Clare Haver: Dr. Mary Claire Haver sheds light on the often-overlooked years leading up to menopause, helping women understand the hormonal changes that can affect everything from mood and energy to sleep, cognition, and overall well-being. Combining current research with practical guidance, she explains why these symptoms occur and how addressing them early can support long-term health. The book also provides tools for navigating medical care, advocating for appropriate treatment, and making informed decisions about options such as hormone therapy during the perimenopausal transition.

Podcast Recommendations

• Sleep is a Skill hosted by Mollie McGloklin: This podcast dedicated to helping listeners improve their sleep through practical, science-backed strategies and conversations with leading experts in the field. The host shares insights on topics such as circadian rhythms, sleep optimization, and behavioral change, inspired by her own journey overcoming chronic insomnia. Each episode is designed to provide actionable tips that make quality sleep a foundational part of overall health, wellness, and daily performance.
• Deep Into Sleep hosted by Dr. Yishan Xu: A podcast hosted by sleep psychologist and behavioral sleep medicine specialist Dr. Yishan Xu that explores the connection between sleep, health, personal growth, and overall well-being. Through conversations with experts and guests from a wide range of backgrounds, the show offers practical insights on topics including sleep disorders, mental health, relationships, business, and lifestyle habits. Each episode is designed to help listeners better understand themselves, improve their sleep, and create a healthier, more fulfilling life.
• Postcards from Midlife hosted by Lorraine Candy and Trish Halpin: A supportive guide for women navigating midlife, covering topics such as menopause, perimenopause, parenting, wellness, beauty, fitness, relationships, careers, and personal growth. Hosted by longtime magazine editors Lorraine and Trish, the show blends candid conversations, personal experiences, and expert advice to help women embrace this stage of life with confidence and optimism. Through interviews with specialists and inspiring guests, listeners gain practical insights for creating a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling next chapter.

My Nighttime Routine

I realized in the last year I needed to be more deliberate about my nighttime routine. If I didn’t create certain habits, I knew I wouldn’t stick to utlizing all of the things that would help me get a good night’s sleep. I’m not a very habitual person by nature. I am not one to religiously follow a skin care routine or eat a good protein-ladden breakfast each morning. (My guess is my ADHD has something to do with that, but that’s something for another post). I did get into a loose routine and I do think it’s helping. Generally, here is what I do:

• 8:30/9p: Take my melatonin, progesterone or any other sleep aid I’m using at the moment. I try not to take anything past 9:30 as it really makes my mornings a bit discombobulated. Sleep aids taken past 9:30/10p means I am a walking zombie for the first hour or so of the morning and I hate when I can’t get my wits about me until mid-morning.
• Shower and use either the Aveeno stress relief lotion or a very lovely nighttime body oil that I got from a local company.
• Put magnesium butter on the soles of my feet and calves.
• Plug my phone into a charger in the bathroom. I do not like to have any devices in my bedroom at night and it keeps me from looking at any screens for at least an hour before I head to bed.
• Read for an hour in bed (we no longer have a tv in the bedroom as I would mindlessly stare at that and screens to affect your ability to fall asleep).
• Turn on my diffuser and white noise machine and if I know it’s a particularly difficult night to fall asleep, my weighted eye mask.

Do I do this every night? No. Especially not on the weekends. But I do notice a huge difference when I stick to this routine. Create one that works for youself and give yourself 30 days of consistently adhering to your routine. Keep a journal and write down observations the next morning so you can keep track of what is working or not working. Everyone is different and by having that journal, you can easily identify patterns and varying results.

Wishing you all a good night’s of rest – God knows we all need it!

Other Posts you Might Like:

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Published: June 2026

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